How to Get Flat Abs, Have Amazing Sex and Rule the World in 8 Easy Steps.

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Photo: Aris Jerome Model: Ashley Moore

Photo: Aris Jerome
Model: Ashley Moore

The covers of most men’s and women’s magazines have similar headlines: get great abs and have amazing sex.

From the looks of it, these two issues have been recycled over and over (with some other stereotypically gender relevant articles thrown in) on every Men’s Health, Maxim, Cosmo and Glamour cover since the dawn of time. In fact, I’d bet that if we could get a better translation of cave drawings, they would read something like “Grok get flat belly; make girl Grok moan with joy.”

And we keep buying them. We keep buying this lie that these things will make us happy. I’ve had washboard abs (past-tense) and I’ve had some pretty phenomenal sex. Neither one made me a better person; neither one completed me or made my life more fulfilling.

We chase this idea of “I will be happy when…”

I will be happy when I have a new car. I will be happy when I get married. I will be happy when I get a better job. I will be happy when I lose five pounds. What if instead we choose to be happy—right now?

If you can read this, your life is pretty awesome.

Setting aside our first world problems and pettiness, if you are online reading this, you have both electricity and wifi or access to them. Odds are you are in a shelter of some sort, or on a smart phone (and then kudos to you for reading this on the go). Life might bump and bruise us, it may not always go the way we plan and I know I get frustrated with mine, but here’s the thing

You are alive.


Because you are alive, everything is possible.

So about those eight tips…

1. Stop believing your bullshit.

All that stuff you tell yourself about how you are a commitment-phobe or a coward or lazy or not creative or unlucky? Stop it. It’s bullshit, and deep down you know it. We are all insecure 14-year-olds at heart. We’re all scared. We all have dreams inside of us that we’ve tucked away because somewhere along the line we tacked on those ideas about who we are that buried that essential brilliant, child-like sense of wonder. The more we stick to these scripts about who we are, the longer we live a fraction of the life we could be living. Let it go. Be who you are beneath the bullshit.

2. Be happy now.

Not because “The Secret” says so. Not because of some shiny happy Oprah crap. But because we can choose to appreciate what is in our lives instead of being angry or regretful about what we lack. It’s a small, significant shift in perspective. It’s easier to look at what’s wrong or missing in our lives and believe that is the big picture—but it isn’t. We can choose to let the beautiful parts set the tone.

3. Look at the stars.

It won’t fix the economy. It won’t stop wars. It won’t give you flat abs, or better sex or even help you figure out your relationship and what you want to do with your life. But it’s important. It helps you remember that you and your problems are both infinitesimally small, and conversely, that you are a piece of an amazing and vast universe. I do it daily; it helps.

4. Let people in.

Truly. Tell people that you trust when you need help, or you’re depressed—or you’re happy and you want to share it with them. Acknowledge that you care about them, and let yourself feel it. Instead of doing that other thing we sometimes do, which is to play it cool and pretend we only care as much as the other person has admitted to caring, and only open up half-way. Go all in—it’s worth it.

5. Stop with the crazy making.

I got to a friend’s doorstep the other day, slightly breathless and nearly in tears after getting a little lost, physically and existentially. She asked what was wrong and I started to explain and then stopped myself and admitted: I’m being stupid and have decided to invent lots of problems in my head. Life is full of obstacles; we don’t need to create extra ones. A great corollary to this one is from The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz : Don’t take things personally. Most of the time, other people’s choices and attitudes have absolutely nothing to do with you. Unless you’ve been behaving like a jerk, in which case…

6. Learn to apologize.

Not the ridiculous, self-deprecating apologizing for who you are and for existing that some people seem to do (what’s up with that, anyway?). The ability to sincerely apologize—without ever interjecting the word “but”—is an essential skill for living around other human beings. If you are going to be around other people, eventually you will need to apologize. It’s an important practice.

7. Practice gratitude.

Practice it out loud to the people around you. Practice it silently when you bless your food. Practice it often. Gratitude is not a first world only virtue. I saw a photo recently, of a girl in abject poverty, surrounded by filth and destruction. Her face was completely lit up with joy and gratitude as she played with a hula hoop she’d been given. Gratitude is what makes what we have enough. Gratitude is the most basic way to connect with that sense of being an integral part of the vastness of the universe; as I mentioned with looking up at the stars, it’s that sense of wonder and humility, contrasted with celebrating our connection to all of life.

8. Be kind.

Kurt Vonnegut said it best (though admittedly, and somewhat ashamedly—I am not a Vonnegut fan):

There’s only one rule that I know of, babies—”God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”


Kindness costs us nothing and pays exponential dividends. I can’t save the whole world. I can’t bring peace to Syria. I can’t fix the environment or the healthcare system, and from the looks of it, I may end up burning my dinner.

But I can be kind.

If the biggest thing we do in life is to extend love and kindness to even one other human being, we have changed the world for the better.

That’s a hell of a lot more important than flat abs in my book.



  141 comments for “How to Get Flat Abs, Have Amazing Sex and Rule the World in 8 Easy Steps.

  1. September 8, 2013 at 6:27 am

    As an LA native, number 5 is my favorite and number 7 is literally the best sign of a growing person. It’s not easy to rule the world in 8 steps, but this is beautiful. Thank you!

    • Kate Bartolotta
      September 8, 2013 at 6:56 am

      Thanks Shaleah!

  2. quinkygirl
    September 8, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    With all due respect, great sex DOES make my life more fulfilling. Not on its own, of course. Still, there are entire RELIGIONS built around sex for a reason. And for the record, I don’t have flat abs, and I don’t buy those magazines.

    • Kate Bartolotta
      September 9, 2013 at 9:09 am

      Well, it’s definitely a great part of life—no argument there! But reading articles about how to do it vs. actually going for it (sex…or anything for that matter) going for it wins every time.

    • Mark Smith
      September 27, 2013 at 12:05 pm

      You missed the point. This wasn’t about sex.

  3. jessica
    September 8, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    Thank you for this. These are all such awesome reminders especially #1 for me. Slightly disappointed by the g-d word in the quote you chose for #8 on kindness but other than that – excellent job. Blessings!

    • akia
      September 17, 2013 at 12:32 am

      I agree with Jessica. Great article and amazing points. Keep sharing your thoughts!

    • Gotdonia
      September 23, 2013 at 12:43 pm

      lol..get the fuck over it.

      • SC
        September 23, 2013 at 11:55 pm

        Wow, how kind.

      • Sarah Beeson
        September 25, 2013 at 11:05 am


    • AtmanAnatman
      November 11, 2013 at 11:52 am

      Regarding your disappointment with the wording in #8, please refer to the awesome reminder in #1.

  4. Midge
    September 8, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    All good points. Let me tell you though what’s up with people who seem to be apologizing for who they are or for existing. Those are the people who have been extremely emotionally abused sometime in their lives. They may have been raised by narcissists or psychopaths. They are the ones we need to be kindest to.

    • Kate Bartolotta
      September 9, 2013 at 9:10 am

      Yes, you are exactly right. It’s sad and those are the people most in need of our kindness. xo

    • Elise
      September 19, 2013 at 10:03 pm

      Gah. Yes. Thank you…

  5. eva
    September 9, 2013 at 9:52 am

    Thank you for this article!

  6. Greg
    September 9, 2013 at 10:58 am

    I think a better quote for #8 would be this one, variously attributed to Plato, Socrates, St. Phylo of Alexandria, or Ian MacLaren (who knows?): “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle.” Everyone is going through struggles, mostly hidden, and kindness is the best way to touch someone’s heart.

    • Be You Media Group
      September 15, 2013 at 12:10 pm

      Yes! I love that quote as well.

  7. September 9, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    Thank you so much for this little reminder today…I needed it.

    • Michelle
      November 7, 2013 at 8:33 pm

      My kind words of the day to a stranger, David, you are hot!!!

  8. September 9, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    I got dumped yesterday. Haven’t done much this morning but think about where my life falters. But you read this and realize “i got it good”. So thank you.

  9. Lucas
    September 9, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    Maybe that is why she is not a fan of this Kurt fella.

  10. M
    September 9, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    Not to be a downer, but… I find articles that describe happiness as an effort to be exceptionally depressing.

    It’s very, very easy to stop being afraid, to stop doubting, to stop spinning problems out of nothing. What is difficult is to fill the thoughtless void that is left behind. There is something much, much worse than being neurotic, afraid, self-defeating, and consumed by stress. Emptiness and apathy are fearless, impulsive, and utterly freeing.

    Being gracious, being kind, letting people in, focusing on the positive, riding bikes into the sunrise– what happens when this fails to fill that void? Effort is effort, and effort is easy. Effort is straightforward. Happiness is none of these.

    • JAKE
      September 13, 2013 at 10:01 am

      “Not to be a downer…” no, what you have written is indeed a huge downer and you have missed the point entirely.

    • Mercedes
      September 19, 2013 at 3:02 pm

      Try meditation :) the void is actually quite full in its own way.

    • September 22, 2013 at 2:09 pm

      Like emptiness and apathy, happiness is a choice. You make it; you don’t wait for it to find you.

      Happy people can still be neurotic, afraid and stressed-out. Happiness doesn’t cancel those out. It simply provides balance.

    • olga
      September 24, 2013 at 11:12 am

      hey, did you know that HAPPINESS is a CHOICE, not a feeling!!!!!

      • Rodney
        October 3, 2013 at 9:02 pm

        Agreed and punctuated!!!!

    • Mark Smith
      September 27, 2013 at 12:09 pm


    • Michelle
      October 25, 2013 at 9:49 pm

      Get out of your head. Yikes.

    • June
      July 3, 2014 at 4:38 pm

      did copy and paste to your ideas and I’m gonna keep them in a file in my computer, to re-read them again, because they are simply expressing what I’ve already felt, but didn’t have enough knowledge to put them on paper.

      Speaking from personal experience, yes, tried my best to dance, read, socialize, help people, laugh when sad (“fake it till you make it” malarkey), drank sometimes, swimming like no tomorrow, a lot of sport to release endorphin, dated a lot, had a lot of mental talks with friends about life and its rules…

      But then came a moment when I felt I need to: keep quiet, listen more, what other say, but especially to myself and my thoughts and my feelings. Staying home by myself, my pain, my thoughts, journaling them, reading, feeling the good, bad, indifferent, you name it, paying attention to the void, instead of frantically trying to cover the void no matter what.

      Happiness? I don’t know. But I’d put my bets on balance, it’s more rewarding and honest.

  11. Steve Bamm
    September 9, 2013 at 8:18 pm


    Awesome! Totally fucking awesome. Thank you for this. P.S. You seem to be missing a word in this phrase “eventually you will to apologize”. I would love to know your complete thought here. :)

    • Kate Bartolotta
      September 9, 2013 at 8:29 pm

      Good catch, Steve! I must have gotten carried away. ;)

  12. Steve Bamm
    September 9, 2013 at 8:19 pm


    Awesome article, thank you!. I think you are missing a word here: “eventually you will to apologize”

  13. Laurel
    September 9, 2013 at 9:12 pm

    i absolutely love this! kate, you are a fantastic writer and your honest, carefree way of looking at the world is just what we need. and from an avid and obsessed kurt vonnegut lover, trust me, he’s worth another read (or ten).

    • MJ
      September 16, 2013 at 12:01 am

      And so it goes…

      • Mark Smith
        September 27, 2013 at 12:10 pm

        What does that mean? Why write that?

        • Michelle
          October 25, 2013 at 9:47 pm

          MJ is Linda Ellerby…..

  14. September 9, 2013 at 9:57 pm

    This is incredible. (And best headline of the year!) Everyone should read this.

    • September 24, 2013 at 2:52 pm

      ^ true story ^ “best headline of the year!”

  15. Stephen
    September 9, 2013 at 10:17 pm

    I’m pretty upset that I don’t have flat abs after reading this article.

    • Kate Bartolotta
      September 11, 2013 at 11:02 am

      Stephen: Flat abs = no sugar/grain/dairy + high intensity intervals + every kind of plank you can think of (and again, and again, and again). I like to stay fit, but I’m not interested in trying to get back to a six pack/eight pack, because let’s be honest…it looks a bit reptilian and also because gelato exists.

      • Tim
        November 7, 2013 at 3:25 pm


  16. Willie Lewis
    September 9, 2013 at 11:43 pm

    This is such a fantastic article, I’m sending it to everyone I know. Thank you so much!

  17. September 10, 2013 at 2:33 am

    Thanks for the great article.

  18. Josha
    September 10, 2013 at 3:06 am

    I liked your article until you started talking about ‘setting aside our first world problems’ because after all, we have electricity and a shelter. Yay. You know what? I have complicated PTSD from sexual abuse. Yes, I’m white. And middle class. And young so full of opportunities. No, I can’t say that I’m happy. And that has nothing to do with ‘first world problems’. Yes, someone at the other side of the world is dying because he/she’s hungry/shot/ill. Does that mean I’m supposed to be greatful because after all, I was ‘only raped’? I’m healing slowly and I will take all the damned time I need to do that. If I could talk about it to people, freely, I would heal much faster. That’s a fact. You know why I don’t talk about it? Because I’m white and middle class, so people expect me to ‘just get over it’ and don’t think it’s so bad as when a black girl get’s raped. That’s also a fact. And the ‘first world problems’-hype is not gonna improve this situation.

    • Kate Bartolotta
      September 10, 2013 at 10:52 am

      Oh, I’m so sad that you took “first world problems” that way! PTSD, sexual abuse, and many other things that we experience are in no way “first world problems.” I was making reference to the fact that we often get bent out of shape out of little things like someone getting our coffee order wrong or over-analyzing a text from someone or internet not working as fast as we like…you know….”First world problems!”

      Healing from trauma takes time, and I wish you well. I hate when people talk about traumatic life events and brush them off with “everything happens for a reason.” I’m sure you will find some wonderful things that come forth in your life as part of that healing process, but I would never seek to minimize that in any way.

      Have a beautiful week, Josha.

    • Laura
      September 19, 2013 at 2:10 pm

      I sympathize with you and had a similar reaction. I know that the author isn’t trying to say “just think yourself out of your depression!” She’s trying to reach a different target audience; people who work themselves up over every tiny imperfection.

      Still, though. I would have felt better if “and if you think you may have an issue with depression/anxiety/etc., seek professional help.”

      Seriously, though. The absolute worst thing you can do for a friend with depression is to give them a list of things that will “make them happy.” There’s nothing that sounds more condescending, intentional or not, than another oblivious person telling us we just need to cheer up and look at the bright side because don’t we have it pretty good? Because not being happy, or thinking of happiness as some kind of accomplishment, is another thing for us to feel inadequate about.

      The tips in this article are overall pretty good. However, I’d add that not allowing yourself to express negativity, rant, and complain on occasion can be really harmful. Sometimes you just need to let it all out! (Even if it means complaining about first world problems.)

    • Ti
      September 25, 2013 at 11:32 am

      I was with you until: “Because I’m white and middle class, so people expect me to ‘just get over it’ and don’t think it’s so bad as when a black girl get’s raped.”

      Um, false. Our society exhibits far more outrage, sympathy, and activism on behalf of white women than black women. The fact that you think the reverse suggests you have some privilege that needs checking. I realize that you’re suffering, but that doesn’t give you free reign to toss fellow survivors under the bus.

  19. September 10, 2013 at 9:18 am

    Happiness is such a sought after word, feeling, state of being. So many people have written books,articles even made a career out of helping others find happiness. I think its the one thing that if bottled would make the seller the richest person in the world. Thank you for giving us ways of trying to achieve it, ways of trying to prevent obstacles from reaching it, but as some of your commentors have mentioned its not an easy task , I dare to say its probably one of the hardest achievements for the human race. But I am very grateful that people like you take the time to try to remind us of how we can try to achieve it and I am sure all will take your suggestions to heart, its just that sometimes others things are so powerful, the weight of lifes torments are so big that happiness is only but a dream.

  20. September 10, 2013 at 2:29 pm

    What happens when you wake up from this dream, and have to live in the real world? I practice these tips every day and i am miserable almost every day. Why? Health issues, spouse, bills, jobs, or lack there of, kids, inlaws, money, no time for physical relationship, to busy for friends, blahblahblah. So you can stick your thumb up your butt and stare at the sky all you want, but that doesnt change the fact that the majority of live is not pleasureable and if it was we wouldnt slave away all year saving for vacation, or get hammered every weekend, or spend money we dont have to buy Christmas presents for everyone to mask the fact that their lives are unhappy also. So your hippie paradise is fine in theory, but then again so is Communism. Depressed yet? Welcome to life.

    • September 17, 2013 at 2:24 pm

      You need to accept the health issues, spouse, bills, jobs, kids, inlawys, money etc etc. Just accept it. Once you accept it. See what you can do to change it. Take responsibility for your actions. You are the sole person who lets these things bother you. Think of it like a game. We’re all playing this game of money,health, kids, jobs etc etc. If you don’t take any of these problems seriously, you are always happy. It seems like you are doing decent for yourself with even having the ability to have these problems. Be grateful for what ya got, fix what you can and accept the rest. Don’t make life so difficult, it’s not.

      • Sadie
        September 26, 2013 at 8:42 am

        You might want to give it a rest. Real world problems do exist in America. Let me list the ways: Health issues that you’re not sharing with anyone, bills you can’t pay, jobs, you don’t have. Sometimes, it’s like an ongoing battle just to get through the day, not to mention family members who don’t care for one another. Depression is real.

        • September 26, 2013 at 1:52 pm

          Depression is real, but you know what DOESN’T make it better? Coming to happy blog posts and attempting to ruin it for everyone by complaining about it (especially in such a rude way.) If you are alive, you have problems. I am willing to bet a vast majority of us here are busy, have unpaid bills, in-law issues, and are stressed. Guess what? We still CHOOSE not to let those ruin us. As long as you let common problems ruin your state of mind, I promise you will always be miserable. The real issue is not the problems. It’s not even talking about the problems, The real issue is HOW you talk about the problems and how you choose to react to them.

    • September 18, 2013 at 6:49 pm
    • NMeff
      September 21, 2013 at 2:40 pm

      Life gives us choices, we can look at the negative and stew in it or look at the better healthier things around you and appreciate them. My ex had his issues and left I could have been dramatic and devastated hateful all of that, but one day looking at the empty space in the closet feeling sad then mad then I chose to see it as a positive, I had more space in my closet and I moved my cloths over.
      Your choice is misery it’s your reality but it doesn’t have to be.

    • Truly
      November 12, 2013 at 10:47 am


      Sorry to hear that you have health problems. The rest sound like blessings to me. If your spouse is making you unhappy..did you ever think that this exact post could be why? Your children are blessings, this is their childhood. Don’t mess it up. Find time for a physical relationship. I have four kids. We find time. Don’t get hammered on the weekend, save the money for a better vacation :) Spend less at Christmas, no one will care. And if you did follow this each wouldn’t be writing this in a miserable fashion. You are blessed. Bills mean you have things. Don’t like the bills? Don’t have the things. Ger rid of cable, cell phones etc. It will bring your bills lower and make them less of a stress.

      Absolutely love this article thank you for writing this.

  21. September 11, 2013 at 10:34 am

    Dang, I was with you all the way until you said you weren’t a Vonnegut fan. Now I don’t know what to think!? So it goes. (hee-hee)

    • Kate Bartolotta
      September 11, 2013 at 11:03 am

      Well, to be fair, it’s been a long time. I should probably give Kurt another try.

  22. Sydney
    September 13, 2013 at 11:41 am

    What a great reminder on what life is really all about. While I still strive for those flat abs.. I know that at the end of the day it is the smaller things in life, a helping hand, and a night of star gazing, that really makes life so beautiful! Happy Friday :)

  23. kjhall
    September 13, 2013 at 12:02 pm

    I believe we are put here on earth for one reason, to care for each other …. #8 says it all, everything else will fall into place …. “Given the choice between being right and kind, I think it’s better to be kind.” — Ernie Harwell

  24. September 14, 2013 at 1:39 pm

    Really, really good post. Wise insights. I have to admit, I got baited into the article because of the headline. But I stayed because it was oh-so good. (Not as good as Amazing Sex, but still satisfying!).

  25. September 14, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    Fabulous, fabulous, fabulous post. Thanks for the reminders, especially: “we can choose to appreciate what is in our lives instead of being angry or regretful about what we lack.”

  26. Marianne Byers
    September 14, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    You shared some really wonderful and important info but the last and so important about kindness, whoever that was you quoted- it just doesn’t make sense to talk about kindness and use God’s name in vain in the same sentence- just doesn’t go together. Too bad he shared something so important in the way he did.

  27. Seven Nicastro
    September 15, 2013 at 2:29 am

    I love this article, Its a huge part of a bigger picture of loving yourself. In addition, say nice things to yourself. Most of us would never talk to other people the way we talk to ourselves when we put ourselves down. Learn to control that voice. But on a different note, everyone here is capable of helping with the environment and health care or any cause you want to. If you have internet join internet petition sites if you don’t have time to actively protest or money to donate. Help by signing something that someone else is working towards. It takes about as long as it takes to check mail. Go to sites like Rainforest Action Network, or Sierra Club. Seeing something you helped make happen by just signing is a great way to help.

  28. J
    September 15, 2013 at 11:53 am

    I like this article, but the picture of the impossibly thin woman with the washboard stomach was a poor choice, given the point that’s being made here.

  29. Carrie
    September 15, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    I love you for writing this. It needed to be said even though we all really knew it all already. I am printing this and reading it everyday. I am sending it to my husband, teenage sons and twenty something nieces. I might creeping toward 50, but I am choosing to live the rest of my days happy, fulfilled and grateful. Oh and with kindness. The kind of kindness that makes you feel warm and content. There is no greater joy than making someone else happy. Thank you!!
    PS. I probably will never have flat abs and I am really ok with it.

  30. September 16, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    I don’t print much stuff out these days, it’s a waste of paper. However, some things NEED to be printed out and read EVERYDAY! This is one of those things.

    Great post, thanks you :)

    Time to switch on that printer…

  31. ahmed
    September 16, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    Well said

  32. JW
    September 16, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    Not only a fantastic article, but kudos to you for the care you take in responding to the comments. Thanks Kate!

  33. VOX
    September 16, 2013 at 11:37 pm

    I’m just going to go out and say it, This article is cool as fuck. Thanks G.

  34. September 18, 2013 at 3:21 am

    I love this so much! I’ve reached a very important point in my life where wise words and tactful thoughts are processed and actually retained! This small chunk of awesomeness will be used and admired for it’s wit and character and obviously the great content it holds. Thank you for being brave and ambitious; I can see it in your writing you have these strengths of character and I will be following you from now on for the sake of a small amount of words packed with ALOT of wisdom.

  35. Stu
    September 18, 2013 at 4:30 am

    “I’ve had washboard abs (past-tense) and I’ve had some pretty phenomenal sex. Neither one made me a better person; neither one completed me or made my life more fulfilling.”

    I have washboard abs now and have been recently enjoying amazing sex (and I’m a 46-year-old male) and I can honestly say both have been making me very fulfilled. Seriously. It’s wonderful having both these things – and I recommend them to everyone!!

  36. September 18, 2013 at 10:23 am

    I’m going to have to weigh-in on this one. Exercise helps your circulation and keeps you healthy, which in turn helps you have better sex and feel happy, since it feels good to be healthy. No, you don’t need to have perfectly flat abs or a six-pack in order to be happy of course. However, being in shape and eating the right things to stay in shape and be healthy is only one aspect of being happy, but it definitely is one of the very important factors. I totally agree with the steps that are listed in the article about helping one be happy, but one of the most important steps, if not #1, is to be healthy. Exercise and eating correctly is a huge factor in keeping you happy. If you don’t believe me, go eat junk food and see how you feel, or go sit in a chair day after day without exercise and see how you feel. My reply is given with love.

  37. Hannah
    September 19, 2013 at 12:16 am

    What a great succinct article that gives everyone a kick in the ass and displays life’s little reminders so well. Number 5 is one that will keep me reflecting for a while.

  38. ade
    September 19, 2013 at 9:26 am

    Tough but true words! Really we have to get our priorities right and choose to enjoy the life we have and then make it better! Interesting choice of words Kate… It seems to have made the impact you planned!

  39. September 19, 2013 at 10:27 am

    This is such a great post… people don’t realize you have to MAKE yourself happy, you can’t depend on anyone else to help you out. I plan on sharing this on my blog soon!

  40. Robyn
    September 19, 2013 at 8:50 pm

    I totally agree!! Except for the wifi part–I don’t have wifi. Nope. My desktop computer is still attached to a modem via wires. But I’m old-fashioned like that. ;)

  41. Galina
    September 20, 2013 at 12:59 am

    Great article, I agree with every single one of your points..Life is too short to worry about everything, you just gotta enjoy as much as possible by getting satisfaction from being kind and helpful to others and not giving a damn about all the little details in life that do or might go wrong.

  42. L
    September 21, 2013 at 1:00 am

    thank you for #4!!!! I’m so guilty of this- and didn’t even fully realize it ’til you put it into honest words right in front of me. Tomorrow- I start to “go all in”!

  43. September 21, 2013 at 8:27 am

    I love No #7 the best! Thanks Kate for the great article..

  44. September 22, 2013 at 6:02 pm

    If you are looking for a really soul-sucking job, just think of the poor people who have to write the abs/sex/world stories, over and over again.

  45. September 23, 2013 at 12:24 am

    Hooked me with the headline, befriended me with content, but really made me respect you with the comment conversation you created. Bravo. More thinking writers like you, please. And agreed, being grateful everyday is definitely a key to happiness. Thank you for this great little piece.

  46. September 23, 2013 at 12:21 pm

    I love this.
    I love it a lot.
    The title, the content and the picture are just perfect.
    I hope your message gets spread and heard, loud and far.

  47. September 23, 2013 at 12:42 pm

    Um, why the weird (and way overused) symbolism in the photo? One eye, “peace” symbols — or are they devil’s horns? Come on — your whole story is supposedly about being “original” and being “YOU” and then you use these trite cliches in your photo? Or maybe I am taking it too literally and missing the irony”of it? Please explain the photo choice. Thank you.

    • Be You Media Group
      September 26, 2013 at 8:51 am

      I thought it was cute/funny/silly and a good way to help poke fun at the title topics. ~ Kate

  48. Kylie
    September 23, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    I’ve been feeling pretty down lately, but finding this helped a lot. Thank you.

  49. September 23, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    I love this and I agree wholeheartedly. I’ll definitely be passing this on to my loved ones. I think number one is one of those that is so crazy integrated into the way so many of us think. What’s crazy is yeah, deep down we all know it’s a heap of crap, but we for some reason keep doing it. I also love that you put in look at the stars. I do that every chance I get. It is a very grounding practice and I feel like it helps you practice gratitude because look how vast the universe is! It’s huge, but somehow we find love and the things we need. It’s incredible. Thank you for this post, it totally made my day!

  50. September 23, 2013 at 11:56 pm

    I’ve seen your work on EJ. Congrats! From one writer to another :)

  51. September 24, 2013 at 4:19 am

    no 2 – we have been sold the ”just one more” concept so badly. Just one more holiday, one more job, one more car. Its fruitless, it’s exhausting.
    In the end, someone to love and be loved by, thats all that matters in my book

  52. September 24, 2013 at 4:02 pm

    Good thoughtful writing to hit and ring a bell in reader’s mind. Keep posting. It helps.

  53. September 24, 2013 at 5:02 pm

    I absolutely love everything you said in this essay. Fantastic stuff. Your positive writing has the power to change the world. I hope you keep at it! :-)

  54. Karim
    September 25, 2013 at 10:21 am

    I think most of people need to be as no.8 ” being Kind”

  55. Pingback: Lipstick Junkie |
  56. September 26, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    Great reminder! Thank you. ~ I just finished rewriting my business mission statement and goals as I updated my website and your Be happy now is so true. I remind all my clients not to wait for the right time, or for something to be perfect. That never comes, these are the days to remember, this here and now is where it’s beautiful.

  57. Chess
    September 26, 2013 at 8:08 pm

    Thank you for this. I’m sick of hearing and reading all the shit that is out there. Pessimism is all around, and it’s nice to be actually be inspired by words every so often. We just can’t let obsession with looks and materialistic things get the best of who we are. Keep posting & God Bless.

  58. Alaine
    September 27, 2013 at 6:51 am

    I believe that perspective is directly attached to your emotional well being and your emotional well being fuels your perspective. Of course we can not always be happy. Things fall apart and come together and fall apart again and among all of this there is life to attend to which doesn’t stop for anyone. I find this article inspiring not because i think there is some magical solution to the harder parts of life, but because it reminds us that there are options to soften the blows.

  59. September 30, 2013 at 1:06 am

    This is excellent, I am sharing it with my readers. I am being kind :-)

  60. October 3, 2013 at 9:37 pm

    I hate to admit it, but it was the caption that caught my attention – all for the wrong reasons. So, the timing of this article is obviously coming at a perfect time for me. Thanks for reminding me what is important in life – and especially for the reminder of the importance of appreciating the blessings in my life and of the importance of expressing gratitude. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

  61. Ravya
    October 4, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    Was directed to your blog by your dad :) and today, I can tell you, I’m grateful to you both. Thank you for this beautiful and relevant piece.

  62. maha
    November 4, 2013 at 7:15 pm

    i realized now that how a few lines can do instant magic to ur life and immediately change the way u think ! Thank u !

  63. Ansam
    November 10, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    you said “I can’t bring peace to Syria” but at least you’re giving it for someone who is living there by your words :)
    thank you and pray for us

    • Be You Media Group
      November 10, 2013 at 6:02 pm

      Thank you for reading, and I do!

  64. Michael Tai
    November 11, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    This is wonderful. I’ve always believed that happiness is a choice and being kind a d caring iz a must!!!!!

  65. Naomi
    November 18, 2013 at 7:51 pm

    Love your writing!!!! Looking forward to reading more posts x

  66. Cindy
    November 26, 2013 at 12:36 am

    Nice post, lots of good points. I thought the comment about Oprah was not nice, however, and thought it was contradictory to number 8 about being kind. Is it really necessary to put someone else down to make a point?

    • Be You Media Group
      November 26, 2013 at 8:20 am

      The statement isn’t putting Oprah down, but instead pointing out that we don’t need to do these things because they are a pop culture ideal.

  67. Sky
    December 3, 2013 at 2:17 pm

    thankyou so much for this. i am working on my senior thesis right now and way too inside my own head lately needed a little reminder like this, I needed to hear it :)

  68. romina
    December 5, 2013 at 4:48 pm

    Loved it, thanks for this kind note!…
    I needed something to lift me up during finals !! :P
    cheers eveyone life is beautiful

  69. December 8, 2013 at 3:05 pm

    I took this photograph of Ashley Moore. . Please credit me

    • Be You Media Group
      December 8, 2013 at 3:13 pm

      Absolutely! I linked/credited as it was attributed, but I’d much rather credit you! Thanks for letting us know.

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