For some reason, the very thought about being on a path that resonates with my heart feels excitingly odd.
As I mosey around the day, taking care of a dog for a few weeks, fulfilling his needs on a moment-to-moment basis, I begin to question some things about my path. What starts out as a peaceful morning of birds bellowing their songs high in the sky, not a soul out around to rustle up any human noises, and the occasional dog bark in the distance, this all soon gives way to reading way too many controversial sites or bits about this or that, and then my path feels questionable.
It’s as if there is so much information coming in from all angles—and this includes even the spiritual insight overload- that I absorb all the words and scratch my head and think “am I on the best path for me?”
Of course I am, as the silly noise in my head begins to calm down. My distractions of late are a telltale sign that I am on a road that is a culmination of so many years of all that I have offered, and all that I am receiving. It is no one else’s but my own. It would be all too easy to abandon my heart, but I know better.
At the tender age of almost 55, I can honestly say that I’m still in learning mode, and the raw energy that comes from this is a different kind of growth. It is not typical for me at all. It is as if my entire insides have to die to transform. Currently, the slow and painful death is giving way to excitement and joy again. A chronically sore neck is now healing due to consistently being pushed in a new yoga class with a group of souls who gather and practice and take their bodies and minds and hearts to places I used to mock years ago. Now, I’m in awe of them.
This entire new group yoga experience has shifted my perspective. It has given me an opportunity to heal more, to question more, to understand more, and to revel in the notion that it feels so right and better than anything I’ve embarked upon in a long while. I would not label myself a “yogi” by any stretch of the imagination, but as one who loved her solo home practice for years on end, getting into a group of like-minded warriors has been the catalyst to furthering the growth in my heart and setting me on a meaningful path.
Some days I feel like a phoenix rising from the ashes with new found freedom, other days I tend to my sore muscles, face the challenges, realign my thoughts, and start to question the path again. It is a magnificent cycle from heaven, I know, or at least I think I know.
After a few hours this morning, the sun is now peeking its illuminous head out. We have had over a week of cloudy, very humid conditions, almost as if a pending storm is continually threatening to burst through the sky and wreak havoc on the land. The rain is more than welcomed. The cleansing feel of water against the earth, clearing away old debris of early spring pollen, and enlivening the trees and flowers to emit their deciduous grace and get ready for the summer heat, this is nature at its finest. These metaphoric treasures give my sensitive heart more inclusive affirmation about my path.
The only true way to heal the world is to heal you first.
I am willing to put myself out there, to fall down, to dust myself off, to gather steam and move forward as often as needed. Each day that I question how it all looks or where it’s all going is me firing on all cylinders, and that is precisely what zaps my energy. The signs get all jumbled when I put too many thoughts out there to process. If love is the ultimate goal for me and any being sustaining a life in the here and now, the one concept I have learned is to slow down. Be patient and have faith. It’s interesting to me how these few words each morning, while sitting with a cup of tea in the peace and quiet, can set my heart straight again. And of course, loving up on a furry creature for a few weeks is more than a blissful bonus.
I am taking the leap. I am staying in my center and my power. I am open to all possibilities. I am more than excited for new experiences and reconnecting with a few old friends, with many stops and conversations along the way. As I stay in the core of my essence the path I am on will lead to whatever and wherever it is I’m supposed to be doing. There is greatness in surrender. I trust it.
Hope to see you on down the road, in full spirit and love!
Gerry Ellen is an author, freelance writer, and wellness consultant. Her first novel Ripple Effects was published in March 2012. She is a regular columnist for elephant journal and contributor to Be You Media Group. Besides her passions for writing, animals, the environment, healthy living, incredible friendships, heart-centered connections, and sharing her experiences of life and love, she never goes a day without her simple daily rituals. She believes that balance is key to all things meaningful. Her love story A Big Piece of Driftwood was released on May 1, 2014.