I’ve got my artist’s melange of chaos scattered around my room.
That’s okay, I tell myself.
I’ve got an artist’s mess in my mind, trying to decide the ways to form my words into a ball of energy for sharing.
I’ve got my artist’s paint stained yoga mat (from those moments when I preferred leaning over a canvas instead using an easel).
I’ve got a fiery artist’s breath that becomes even when I unroll my yoga mat.
I’ve got my artist’s eye that lingers over the composition of my creative mess: mini palettes in the shape of yogurt lids covered in dried paint with shades of lavender, ultramarine blue, and copper (for the summer hills of northern California) next to an old tube of white that I cut open, so I could scoop out the last bit of paint.
I’ve got my artist’s fingers that love to hold the weight of fear, and know that I’ll let the heaviness flow through my fingertips onto the page unaware how they may be received, but they just need to let go.
I’ve got an artist’s ear that hears the tiptoes of an idea along my unruly hair just as I am going out the door, and I shouldn’t really pause to write it down, but I do, knowing the idea will sprint away if I don’t.
I’ve got my artist’s heart who slows whenever I see all the tarnished, broken, sepia colored pieces shared by another, feeling another’s own heart awaken and come back together again, and think it’s not all pretty and shiny that makes art into art.
I’ve got an artist’s soul who sighs, leaning deeper into child’s pose, releasing all the self-deprecating, nagging inner voices that try to keep me from being who I am going to be.
That’s okay, I tell myself,
Because I am an artist.
Jes Wright loves being barefoot, taking deep breaths of orange blossoms while doing yoga, and finds nature in even the most urban spaces. She is an adventurer, enjoying the acts of painting, writing and playful mindfulness in her mostly uncharted journey between northern California and upstate New York, and back again. Jes holds an MA in Individualized Studies (Creative Nonfiction) from Goddard College where she learned the power of Transformative Language Arts. Currently, she’s working on a novel, a poetry chapbook, and being an ever present diplomat for those with Asperger’s. Her writing may be found at elephant journal and on Facebook.