I long for a hearth with pillows,
large arms to hold me tight.
My heart yearns for any home.
I find random feathers and acorns.
Neighbors walk dogs.
My girlfriend’s kitty purrs.
My roots are frayed.
Today this heart feels old, tired,
as if more love would ache
like a pulled back.
My right shoulder hurts.
Friends ask if I limp and I say yes.
Time takes what it takes,
as I give more and more.
Each person has their folklore.
Mine runs like a path
that winds through creeks,
with many stones to balance on
though I slip and fall often.
I look for one to hold my hand.
I look for one to pick me up when I fall.
Yet day in and day out flow
like a railroad track
that has many breaks
so no train can get to where it needs to go.
Yes I feel like I need to move on.
As the tears rise for no reason,
grief is the quilt that covers me,
though smiles find their way in
and laughter comes easily.
Below all, I ride a go-cart
in a field that keeps me from feeling
the cavities within my ventricles.
So the doors may open and close
And blood may flow. Yes. My heart functions
For this body
yet the emotions
that feed my soul cry out
silently, so few realize.
What fuels every action is a need
to hang on to grace, for if I ever let go
of that knowing, I will drown
on a cross that won’t let me rise.
I live under a blanket where shame
violates me repeatedly.
A barrage of feeling won’t let me be
so I breathe
in what peace love gives as he
picks me up again and again.
“Listen to experience,” he says.
I pull myself up to find the light
that lives inside.
I stand tall and
won’t hide the gifts God gave
in a cave
where my past shadows
haunt my memory.
(Photo: Ashley Rose).
Edie has been writing poems since the age of 9 and continues to write them on a regular basis. Though to be honest she feels they write themselves and show her the way through what hurts into what heals. She teaches yoga full time and shares her life with her five cats. She writes articles as well for various websites including Be You, Rebelle Society, elephant Journal, Teachasana and Journey of the Heart. Find more of her at her personal blog.